Topic guide · 15 verses
Honoring parents is one of the Ten Commandments, and the Bible returns to it again and again, from the wisdom of Proverbs to the letters of Paul. It means respect for children at home, and later it means caring for aging parents. The passages here also remind parents not to provoke their children. Some people had parents who were absent or harmful, and honor does not require pretending otherwise or staying in danger. If your family history is painful, a pastor or counselor can help you sort out what honor looks like for you.
“Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”
The fifth commandment is the first one that comes with a promise of blessing. Honoring parents is placed at the heart of Israel's life together.
“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”
Moses repeats the command when he renews the covenant, again linking it to wellbeing in the land. The repetition shows how seriously it was taken.
“Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must keep My Sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.”
Respect for mother and father appears alongside keeping the Sabbath in a list of holy living. Family respect is treated as part of worship.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.””
Paul quotes the command to Christian children in Ephesus and applies its promise to them. Obedience and honor are described as right in the Lord, within a household of faith.
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.”
Children are told to obey their parents in everything because it pleases the Lord. The motive is pleasing God, not only keeping the peace.
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother. For they are a garland of grace on your head and a pendant around your neck.”
A father urges his son to listen to his instruction and not abandon his mother's teaching. Parental guidance is pictured as something that adorns a life.
“My son, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them always upon your heart; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.”
The teaching of parents is said to guide, watch over and speak to a young person through the day. Wisdom passed down becomes a companion.
“The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.”
A wise child brings joy to a father, and a foolish one grieves a mother. The proverb reminds us that our choices matter to the people who raised us.
“A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.”
Again a wise child makes a parent glad, while a foolish one despises his mother. Contempt toward parents is named as a kind of foolishness.
“Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”
Adults are told to listen to the father who gave them life and not to look down on a mother once she is old. Honor continues when parents are no longer strong.
“He went on to say, “You neatly set aside the command of God to maintain your own tradition. For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever you would have received from me is Corban’ (that is, a gift devoted to God), he is no longer permitted to do anything for his father or mother. Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so in many such matters.””
Jesus criticizes people who used religious devotion as an excuse to avoid supporting their parents. Honoring parents includes practical help, and religious language cannot replace it.
“Near the cross of Jesus stood His mother and her sister, as well as Mary the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, here is your son.” Then He said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” So from that hour, this disciple took her into his home.”
From the cross, Jesus entrusts his mother to the beloved disciple's care. Even in his suffering he makes sure she will be looked after.
“Honor the widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to show godliness to their own family and repay their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.”
Paul says that children and grandchildren should first learn to put their faith into practice by caring for their own family. Repaying parents is called pleasing to God.
“If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Paul warns that someone who ignores the needs of relatives, especially in their own household, has denied the faith. He uses strong words to make clear how serious family responsibility is.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Right after speaking to children, Paul tells fathers not to exasperate them but to raise them in the Lord's training. Honor runs in both directions in a healthy home.
Lord, teach me to honor the people who raised me, in the ways that are wise and good. Heal what is broken in my family, and help me be a blessing to the next generation.
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